...on Saturday July 9, I lost the baby. It was crazy. The day started off just like when I went into labor with Reese. I had some bad contractions in my back and I knew it was coming. This time though I felt like I needed to push, which was very strange, and a few minutes later with no pushing my water broke and out came a tiny 1 inch baby. It looked perfect to me, just like the pictures you would see if you looked up a 9 week old fetus online. The rest of the day and Sunday I spent having contractions and back labor, Monday I still had to go get an ultra sound and more tissue was found. So the doctor gave me some medicine to give me more contractions (great since I had finally stopped having them), but hopefully this would prevent me from having a D&C. I honestly have the worst luck ever so I imagine I will still have to have a D&C, but I am staying hopeful that I won't.
Even with the loss of another baby, I have been so blessed to feel so much comfort. I truly feel that this little one has served its purpose to come and receive a body. For those who don't know, we have been working on going through the temple for a while now, which gives us more comfort to know we will see those who have passed again.
While I have felt so much comfort there has still been sadness, but I came across a website on what not to say to someone who has miscarried, it's pretty true. I haven't been bitter about the loss of this baby, but I remember hearing all of these things with my first loss and it sucked. Now I know that people generally don't know what to say, but thought I would post these anyway, just so you know these don't bother me any more, but I know that many who have had a miscarriage would appreciate this. :) Remember I copied this from a website.
o You can always have another!" (they want this baby! also..maybe they cant have another...)Also this comment is often very offhand...
o 2. "Now you have angel looking after you" (they didnt want an angel-they want their BABY back!)
o 3."its for the best" (How?The best is a successful healthy pregnancy!)
o 4."At least you didnt know your baby!"(whether the baby was held in the parents arms or their minds, it was REAL!)
o 5."There must have been something wrong" (with me? why?)
o 6." Did you do something you werent supposed to do?"(inflicts guilt/how could i have done this to my baby!?)
o 7."Have you ever thought of NOT having children!?"(well yes probably!I know i might never be a parent....)
o 8."Be grateful for the children you have!"(I am but I still need to mourn the one i have lost!)
o 9."It wont happen again"(I never thought it could happen..and to some unlucky people it does happen again!)
o 10.""Be brave,dont cry"(why not!!!?)
o 11."Get on with your life,this isnt the end of the world!"(right now it IS)
o 12."You should be over it by now!"( why!?This is not something you just 'get over')
o 13."Youre young, you'll get over it" (what does age have to do with pain!?)
o 14."Time will heal" (Time will make the pain easier to bear yes,but that is no help at the moment...)
o 15."At least it wasnt older" (it still matters and it still HURTS!)
(In general best not to start with "at least"..it can sound as though you are trying to brush off the tragedy.)
o 16."It was Gods will"
